Fragments & Fissures
by HollowPointBullet
Summary: !UP!Ch3! [Not for the faint of heart; still for the seekers of true dedicated love] In the aftermath of losing precious people, we learn to find despair under the sudden weight of decisions to test our duty, friendship and family. Broken hearts move on and refind love. Will happy ending meet them behind dark clouds? [Drama/Family/Hurt&Comfort/and all other triggers for tears/NF]
1. I-Aftermath: Chapter 1

_**Fragments &Fissures**_

 _ **Part One: Aftermath**_

 _byHollowPointBullet_

 _ **(**_ _All that's left of my heart_ _ **are pieces and parts.)**_

* * *

 **Author Note: ** Please search for Rascal Flatts' song of the same title and play it right after reading this chapter. It is required. Thank you.

* * *

 _ **Fragments &Fissures: Aftermath**_

 ** _[086M-CNC]_**

Since when did I start living as if it was simply a dull and daily routine?

Don't ask. I don't ever want to find the answer. Sometimes, it's easier not knowing. Sometimes, it's just meant to be left a mystery. Because sometimes, unlike what most say about the truth, finding out isn't freedom, but chains of barb leaking with poison that clenches your heart until it rots.

So don't ask me when it all began, but finding myself alive on the bed each morning had been a routine, daily curse.

"Mama! Mama, you're going to be late!"

I had already been awake for fifteen minutes when my daughter's voice echoed from downstairs. Unmoving, I stared at the ceiling of the bedroom. Countless times, I had noted the blotches on it. And for another time, I do this day. There's this one shadow that always seemed like a witch to me and I often stared at it wondering if it was the one who gave the princess the apple.

— that which made her slumber forever. I blinked in wonder. Waking up meant that I wasn't the cursed snow white devil, at least. If I were, I'd find myself luckily waking up in the eyes of my dear savior prince.

But this isn't a life of a fairy tale.

Looking at the window on the right side of the bed, I took in the morning light with my eyes as the breeze pushed the curtains aside. I had forgotten to close the panes again this time. Some insects were stuck on the white cloth. When did I start being this irresponsible?

Again, don't ask.

Reluctantly swinging my legs to the side, I sat up from the bed that's too big for its lonely sleeper. Why was it even — _**don't**_ ask.

I trudged downstairs towards the smell of brewed coffee and bacon ham and egg. Vivio had grown to be quite a reliable high schooler. But I still question her choice of food for breakfast. Though I'm not one to actually voice out any complaint. Some years ago, we both enjoyed the vegan life. And I was an early bird, always. How did things — _**Stop**_. No more asking.

"Mama, I forgot to buy milk yesterday. Sorry." My daughter said as she paced around the sink to deposit her plates, her copper-blonde hair pony-tailed at the base of her neck swaying in her motions.

Yawning, I took a seat on the dining table and opened up a terminal to read about the current events, and said, "I'll be fine with black coffee today."

She dried her hands with a towel and prepared me a hot cup. "Here. Oh, right. I've to drop by the Library today. Are you meeting with Yuuno-kun? I want to consult him regarding some books." She asked, putting the mug before me.

I hummed in thought, weighing whether or not I should tease around the fact that Vivio was trying to discreetly gouge my date plans from me. "It's fine. Call anytime."

She frowned at me. "It would be bad for _Daughter_ to call in while you're in a date."

I chuckled softly. "It's fine. I'll spend dinner with him though."

This appalled Vivio. "Wait, _w_ _hat_?!"

I raised a brow before upturning my gaze at her. She looked genuinely surprised at her own reaction and brought a finger to her nose in a sheepish reaction. "That came out wrong. I just hoped you said so; I was set on cooking something fancy tonight."

"Oh, didn't I? Ah, sorry! It slipped my mind...wait, what exactly is the occasion?"

Vivio froze in shock but then sighed helplessly. "Honestly, mama, are you that old now?"

I glowered at her. "Hey, hey."

"Uuu..." She half-pouted, half-glowered. "You really don't remember what today is?"

Now the look panicked me. Vivio can be either grousing and displeased but rarely both at once. "It's not your birthday, nor mine...Or any of our relatives'..." I trailed off uneasily. "Might it be you won some award at school? But..." Vivio shook her head. "No...? Uh..."

Vivio's moueing turned to glum momentarily before she closed her eyes as if she was desperately trying to convince herself of something. Until she apparently gave up and sighed, "Mama."

"I'm sorry, really." I said, joining my hands and bowing slightly. "What is today?"

Vivio raised her head towards me with hurt and longing eyes. "You forgot this year too..."

That sudden change in her tone, that familiar catch in her voice, that unmistakable reflection in her eyes... I noticed it wasn't the first time I felt as though a broken glass leaking blood whenever I witness these changes.

"Nanoha-mama. Today is..."

I wonder when it all began. But even though I constantly wonder, I don't want to actually know.

"Today is..."

Perhaps I have been struggling not to know.

"Today is..."

Perhaps I've been struggling to forget.

"Fate-mama's..."

The name itself froze me, stopping my breathing, shutting all my nerves and causing bile to rise in my throat. I could hear the pitching of my blood in my ears, accompanied by the tingling sensation of summer and a wind chime, along with the sound of my name in a voice I try to wonder whose.

" _This is a promise. Today onwards, you and I..."_

 _Fate-mama's..._

" _Nanoha..."_

"Today is Fate-mama's..."

I silently pleaded Vivio to silence, which she did grant. But I didn't escape the realization that her eyes hadn't been on me all this time. She was looking past my shoulder. And even though I didn't look, I knew exactly what lay there, past the arch that divided the kitchen from the living room, in a niche where someone had built a traditional Japanese altar.

A name reeked of dead memories; and of dead promises.

I was still as rock, stolid and helpless, as Vivio wordlessly exited the kitchen. I didn't see but I heard the high tune of the metallic stick striking a steel bowl. The tingle reached my spine, sending further waves of nausea from the back of my head.

"Fate-mama...I'll be going now." Vivio whispered but it was too silent for me to miss it. Some footsteps later, I heard Vivio opening the front door. "Nanoha-mama! I'm going!"

I did not reply. Only a minute later did the door close with a thud that sounded haunted inside this seemingly abandoned house. And I was, once again, a prey to this silence, to this loneliness, to this emptiness as I consumed breakfast that ran stale in my throat. I drank the coffee – that's long been cold – from the mug that's long been alien. I nourished myself for the day well, and held my palms together afterwards, saying, 'thanks for the food' to the gods. I got up, washed the dishes, got dressed, tied my hair up to an askew ponytail, and walked towards the living room; towards that corner lit by a red candle stick and kept holy by the incense smoke. I rang the chime and let it reverberate in my body that belonged to the metallic coldness of its sound. But I didn't look at that photograph. That portrait. That woman. That... _that_ smile. I did not look; could not; would not. I simply uttered, in an alien voice just like yesterday's, just like the day before that, just like the months and the years prior, in half-hearted routine, in a voice as hollow as the words themselves,

"Take care of the house, Fate-chan."

* * *

…

 _ **Chapter I**_

 _ **"Today is Fate-mama's..."**_

…

* * *

 _ **HollowPointBullet**_

I was not sure where to go from this when I began writing it. I just happened to play Rascal Flatts all night, read some of the most disturbing Nanoha fanfics I can ever stumble upon, and somehow, these characters began appearing in front of me, asking to be written. Yeah. I'm broken for sure. Originally a LONG open-ended one-shot as in 11, 000 words. Then I began wanting to know more about what happened to Fate.

It's an attempt to perceive what could have happened to Nanoha should Fate met a devastating end (obviously). Also, I wanted to tease angst on YuuNano since all we ever make of his character in NanoFate centered Ffics is: **villain** , or _rapist_ , or someone in between (one way or the other).  
I may receive flames for the chapters that follow though. Nonetheless, I'm a solid NanoFate fangirl which makes the story itself sold and gay.

And DARK.

Anyway, like I said, this was written in one fell swoop aiming for a one-shot so for the chapter breaks, I am splitting the original into parts that seem to have their own focal point. This makes the chaptering jagged. Not to mention slow and inconsistent in length. The following chapters will be a little longer. Perhaps twice, then thrice, before I could adjust to a chaptered flow. With that being said, don't mind the Part#-ChapterLabel formatting that much. I just did it impulsively.

Beyond the point stated above, I've yet to write a word. But hopefully, ideas are coming quite readily. You're welcome to think with me. Just leave reviews or PM me. I can't promise exact update schedules. But count on this being labeled COMPLETE. Its a dream which you and I both long for and which I definitely will thrive to earn.

Thank you very much for the time! We'll see each other again soon!


	2. I-Aftermath: Chapter 2

**Fragments &Fissures**

 **Part One** _ **: Aftermath**_ _ **— Chapter II**_

 _byHollowPointBullet_

 _ **(**_ _All that's left of my heart_ _ **are pieces and parts.)**_

* * *

Song prompt: Come Wake Me Up

A/N: Ended up longer than expected due to edits. T_T I want to get better at transforming my ideas more efficiently... Well, baby steps, baby steps. ^^ Bear with me.

 **Disclaimer: Not for commercial purposes.**

 **WARNING  
Depictions of Psychological Trauma and Sexual Behavior. Depending on who's reading, you may find these depictions cruel, tasteless, offensive, etc. Proceed only when you believe that strongly in NanoFate happy ending despite the sh^te that comes their way, EVEN if Fate is dead.**

* * *

 ** _[_** ** _086_** ** _M-CNC]_**

It's the season when sunlight would seep through my office's window at three in the afternoon. Field practice just ended. I was on my way to logging in today's data to my computer, when Vita-chan intruded shortly as I sat on my swivel chair.

"Can I come in for a bit?" She asked.

I casually waved her to come inside. She closed the door behind her and sauntered towards me. She did not take the chair, enough to tell that she wasn't here for idle chitchat.

"Is something wrong?" I prompted. She did not answer that question directly.

"Signum and I are dropping by the Heroes' Memorial." She said.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," I answered, knowing that she meant an untold offering for me to take. I was thankful that we're in office. I had excuse not to look at her face and busy myself with my routine job.

"You have prior plans?" She asked.

"I am meeting Yuuno-kun."

She nodded, not of understanding, but of _surrender_. "I see. Give the ferret my regards."

I gave her an askew smile. "Mou, Vita-chan, you know he doesn't like being called that."

"D'zit matter if he doesn't hear?" She paused, an eerie void of humorless pause, then said right after, "I'm kidding."

I smiled again, but this time, no amount of light reached my eyes. They were already dull to begin with. Ever since...

Since when did talking to Vita-chan start to become so uncomfortable?

Perhaps, just perhaps, this was once comfortable...? Perhaps it's change. Just the inevitable continuation of life. They happen all the time. Perhaps... I was the one that had changed.

Losing will to ponder deeper, I shook my head.

I was about to close all my work, ready to head out to fulfill the rest of today's plans, when a set of knocks came.

"I wonder who's coming at this hour." I wondered aloud, then told the unknown visitor, "Come in."

The door opened, and familiar pair of blue eyes greeted us from the entrance. I stopped breathing, shrinking inwardly when that somber expression clashed with mine.

Vita-chan's reaction was delayed as she regarded the sturdy woman, as if she was just as surprised to see the Wolkenritter General there as myself. "Signum. What are you doing here?" Vita asked in a biting tone, which, I am convinced was just usual.

"There's something I needed to do here." Signum-san replied.

Vita-chan's stance seemed to change. I couldn't be so sure until she said, "something important to do _today_ of all times?" She sounded defensive. But her voice felt like mine.

Signum-san did not reply. Her eyes remained on me. I smiled at her but the fear that dawned on me started to feel surreal. I chose to look away. She approached us and I looked up to her height. To say that the raw look of distaste in her undisguised expressions are surreal, is an understatement.

"Oi, Signum." Vita-chan interrupted our staring contest (if my feeble gaze could even count as a fight), nudging the tall knight by the hip. "This isn't the time for this."

"I know." She replied, not looking away.

"Did you need something from me, Signum-san?" I asked, lowering my gaze to her shoulder.

She did not answer, but put a small box on top of my table. I missed it for its size. The size of an expensive chocolate box on Valentine's, complete with a tiny blue ribbon. No, that's quite vague, really.

It's the size that would contain something smaller, something more precious and intricate.

"What could this be?" I asked, looking at the alien red velvet-covered box I front of me.

"I held it for the past years, according to the owner's request."

"Signum." Vita-chan cut off before she could finish. "Is this what you're here for?!"

"What else?" Signum-san answered in her casual voice. For what face she made though, I couldn't dare look to find out. "I'm fulfilling my promise and giving this to you."

I closed all my terminals and stood up. "I already told you. These personal effects do not belong to me. You should hand these to Lindy-san."

"Does that make you happy?" Signum asked, her voice tuned with the sudden decrease of temperature.

I looked at her this time, but did not last for long. I willed myself out of that battle which I know cannot be won. And murmured, "I need this."

"Do you still believe this is what you need?" I swallowed back the emerging bile in my throat. Despite the lack of response from me, Signum-san turned around. Vita-chan followed suit after some steps. When they reached the threshold, Signum-san gave one last telling.

"You'll end up poisoning those who desperately try to wake you up from your swelling grief... Even Testarossa would scold you for this."

I looked up, ready to bear fangs at them this time. But the they were long gone behind the closed door. I looked down to that tiny box on my table and listened to the silence. The emptiness. Until I couldn't take anymore. Grabbing my things, I rushed out of this torture room, out of the walls of agony, and to the cozy safety in my car, where thoughts are kept outside. Where the air is cool. Where everything is tiny. Hastily, I drove away from the complex, as if it would also let me escape from the ghosts that anchors themselves at my back.

I ran away.

It was a choice.

For the sake of the people who don't want to see me broken again.

* * *

I was early on my promised dinner with Yuuno-kun. Instead of shopping for a few gifts like planned, I drove straight to his house. I jogged past his garden and knocked wildly at his front door. I failed to discern the surprise in his face when he opened the door, or the smell of his cooking that hung on his clothes when I shoved my body to his, or the fabulous set up of his living room for the event when I grabbed him by the cheeks. I came for what I needed and claimed fast with my mouth. No words. No thoughts. Just emotions. Passionate and scorching. So painful. So poisoned.

I let the screaming desire in my chest consume me. Its name unknown still, I labeled it with love.

Dragging me inside, with my hands over his shoulders and his around my hips, Yuuno-kun closed the door and pushed me against it.

We stood there, flushed against each other for what seemed like hours. When we parted, he breathed against my temple, "wait in the living" He said. "I'll put out the stove."

I went to his room instead.

For the short minute he was gone, I felt uneasy without anything to do. So I opened a workspace, checking the clock and dropping a quick respose to Vivio's worried email. I did so robotically, lest I back down from what I am here for today. I did nothing but stare afterwards. My mind was blank save for the few words that opened up a deep wound hiding in the corner of my soul. _"You'll end up poisoning those who desperately try to wake you up from your swelling grief."_

I wasn't dreaming, however. For if I was, this painful feeling in my chest should have been tolerable. Instead it kept breaking me apart.

Yuuno-kun came back and studied me from the threshold. I was aware of his presence. But I did nothing for the next minute or so.

" _...even Testarossa would scold you for this."_

I closed my eyes and tried to chase the words away. They were lies. All lies. Truth is right here: in the loving gaze my childhood friend has for me; in my acceptance for his offered affection; and in this day where he and I both prove it to ourselves.

I slowly, but unhesitatingly disrobed from my uniform. Yuuno-kun, approaching with measures of care and respect, sat next to me and kissed my cheek, and asked, "are you sure?"

I shook my head but held on his hand. "No."

"Then..."

"But, I think, this is..." I trailed off, meeting his eyes. "What I need. And I want to..."

He smiled. Not of joy. Not of relief. We've been friends far too long to tell. But he just made a pleasant expression and held me gently against his body. And I, for someone who needed everything he had to offer, held on.

It was that afternoon that for the first time, I undressed in front of him – with a clear pretext of an adult activity, at least. (The real first time I did, he was in his ferret form.) He did as well.

My body, reacting quickly to the proximity of his, aware of what we're doing and of where we're going next, heated up some degrees. His sight traveled all over my skin, trying to etch something invisible – most probably his signature of possession – and when it landed back on my eyes, I reveled in the passion he has to offer; in the delightful conception that he wants me, to be with me, to be _in_ me. There needn't be some sort of explanation as to why we were here or where we will be going. Because at the moment, tomorrow seemed to me like a bleak and dying theory. But right that moment, he was here to bring me comfort, guide me to the next steps. And as the realization slowly descended, so did his lips upon mine, I could not think of anything else but only wonder deeply what it would feel like to be loved by this gentlest man, this warmest affection, by this salvaging promise of protection.

I anchored myself on him. And we drowned together in this sinful cage of time.

When I woke up, the night has already swept away all the light outside and what offered little illumination for me to see my surroundings was the blinking terminal I'd left idle on the bedside. Pulling the covers from my body and reaching out to close it, I noticed the arm resting on my hip and I looked half-surprised to see that I was still in my underwear, him sleeping soundly in his boxers and tank top. I don't remember when we had stopped with our mutual seek for physical comfort. Judging by the presence of our final clothing articles, I conclude that we never went far. But instead of frustration, for some reason, what bubbled in my chest was the hint of relief beyond necessary – necessary, as spoken by my vestal anguish. It was the heavy kind of relief. Although I knew he intended to reach that end of this mutual loop – and although I did as well – waking up this way felt good – better.

I was relieved. Heavily relieved. Frustrated in good terms.

Perhaps this was what they'd normally describe as the battle of conscience. _**Gu**_ _ **ilt**_.

Staring down at his sleeping face, I fingered the strands of hair from his forehead, tucked them behind his ear. For what force impelled me to do so, I couldn't concoct. But then, I stared at my fingers where the touch of his hair had remained. It was coarse but soft. Manly. Manly and alien. I was as though a child, bothered by the philosophical mystery of every little thing; but mainly of what was this feeling on my fingers. What was this wetness between my legs? What was I doing there? Why was I doing this?

With whom was I doing what here?

At the moment, I did not know.

Or perhaps I did know so well. I knew everything, and still questioned it, compelling myself to notice these small details of his.

And compare.

As I know so well how it felt before.

As I know so well where, why, and with whom instead I'd rather be.

And knowing everything releases the beast of reality, of hope and wishes that will never come true.

Bringing my hand on my face, I willed myself not to cry, forcing away the feelings that keep killing me, cursing the owner of these bricks in my heart that wouldn't let me feel alive. When I learned to breathe again, the shards went away at last. And opening my eyes, I found emerald eyes boring through me.

Since when did this begin? Since when did Yuuno-kun start looking at me _this_ passionately that it hurts? Since when did he start hurting me with his gaze that I wanted to just close my eyes?

I forced the answers away.

I would have ran if he asked what was wrong, for asking would mean searching for answers. And I didn't want to find anything out all over again.

"Are you hungry?" But he asked instead, reaching up to cup my cheek and thumb it.

I smiled at him and shook my head. "No. Are you?"

"A little." He whispered back.

When I moved, his arm tightened around my waist to keep me from leaving. "Yuuno-kun? I'll get you something. Surely you have some grub in your pantry, right? What did you cook?"

He shook his head and let out a small but resounding chuckle. "If I had to choose, I'd pass on the food."

I cracked another smile and touched the side of his head. "What? You sure...?"

"Sure."

I shimmied back in his embrace with my head on his broad shoulder, his arms securing me. I listened to his loud heartbeats for a while until his voice interrupted the sound rhythm in his chest.

"Nanoha..."

"What?" It was barely a whisper. But I thought he needn't a clear response to continue.

"I won't go anywhere."

A panoply of meanings incorporated in that two-word sentence caught me in a storm: the unwanted and the welcome in a simultaneous swirl of buts and thens. He didn't let me respond. He rolled us over so I ended up on my back, him on his side, propped on an elbow, his other hand on my left shoulder, and his face a breath away, and his hair tickling my cheeks. I gazed up at his eyes that was the color of history for two and a half decades. I knew him that long. But I've only gazed at it for some months to have known that they can sometimes convey feelings everyone had been expecting him to set free – or at least everyone but me.

His lips landed on my nose as his eyes slowly fluttered close. I followed suit. He kissed my eyes, my cheeks, my chin. And, finally, brushed his lips on mine. The first contact was a touch, a whisper should it be conveyed with words, followed by a second one, and another. Until the whisper turned into desperate screams matching the drum beats of our hearts.

As I latched on to him, he moved tighter against me. I felt the revelation of his excitement in the build up of his boxers that tentatively pressed against my leg. He groaned when I moaned – or did he first? Or was it a simultaneous reaction?

He tenderly cupped one of my clothed breasts and began to fondle me slowly, with uncertain movements that nevertheless allowed me to feel more needed and more in need. Then he began to trace my neck with wet kisses as he settled on top of me. The ticklish probing of his mouth and the bulge he wore between his legs did not fail to elicit another moan from me. His hands moved down to my waist then back up to my breasts and under. I arched my body, yielding to his touch and allowing the article to loosen up around my chest. As I took it off, he straddled me and kissed my torso, hands busy with my legs, silently asking permission when he fingered the hem of my last undergarment. When he pulled himself to kiss me, he whispered into my mouth. "Can I take it off?"

I nodded. And he did. First mine, then his. It doesn't take an experienced woman to know what was going to happen next. But for someone inexperienced, he sure knew how to work his way around. I wondered if he had known this from being a Librarian of Infinite Secrets. Then again, I figured this must not have been his first. For some reason the idea arrived to me as a simple conclusion more than anything else.

He kissed me more until he got out of the bed only to return with a packet on his hands. He was already tearing it off when I sat up.

"Let me." I offered, reaching out. Giving the rubber to me, he returned to my lap and knelt between my legs. In silence, I rolled the rubber around his girth. Then I laid back on the bed and he followed me for a deep kiss that led us to him pleasuring me with my breasts. I nursed his head as he did this, while moans continued to exit our lips. Kissing his way back up to my face, he cupped my sweaty cheeks and looked me in the eyes, and pressed his waist against mine. I closed my eyes. He sighed and kissed my lips and buried his face on my shoulder. Eventually, he moved his hands between our mingled bodies to ready himself with me. His tip touched my opening and my eyes flung very wide open. I squeezed his shoulder very tightly that he hissed, me unaware that my nails had been digging in his skin.

"N...Nanoha..."

When he called, I realized one fatal thing. He wasn't in me yet. Not yet. But he would be. He was one push away from claiming me, from filling that void that had been inexistent for so long, that had been dead for three years, that still remains charred by the aftermath of what could have been and what will never be.

He was one push away from completely healing this pain, and I was supposed to be letting him do it.

"...Nanoha," he coaxed, caressing my cheeks. "Let me. I will be very gentle."

I slowly let him go and smiled up to him in apology. "I love you." I said, my voice was hoarse and breathless.

"I love you, too." His was, too.

He kissed me and realigned himself again. "Just relax, okay?" He whispered sweetly, kissing my ear so tenderly, so familiarly, that my breath caught in my throat again.

But for a vexing reason, this time, I screamed, "NO!" And pushed him.

I pushed him off of me and sat up to draw myself to the corner of his bed, breathing so heavily that I would as well have been training long hours with the best recruits of the season. But I was not. It was night. And I was about to make love with my boy friend,

and blatantly...

so blatantly,

rejected his effort to free me from my past chains.

I might as well be so turned on in this state. And truth be told, I was. I was ready for something drawn inside me. But while my body registers its need, my soul shatters this temptation to claim me with.

Laying on the bed on his side, he regarded me with a hard look of shock and hurt. I held my knees together as I tried to form words from my muddled head. Anything. Anything at all that would ease the pain I keep inflicting on this wonderful perfect gentleman; anything at all to help me save this golden heart that didn't deserve me, but chose to stay with me anyway even if it broke him. For almost a year. No, for more than that. Much, much more than that.

Anything.

I looked at him dreadfully as the thoughts washed away from my mind, replaced by the torrent of memories three years prior; of memories and irrepressible feelings from the one person that devastated me in the first place. Tears clouded my vision and through the contorted glass of the past, I saw red.

The color of promises that never come true.

"Why..." I choked and hid my face on my knees. "Why?" I clutched the sides of my head in despair. "Why?!" I cried. "Why...why do you keep doing this to me?!" My own voice blasted in my ear drums. "You told me to move on...So let me! Let me! _Let me_...let me! Let me... _please_..."

Even as I struggled away, Yuuno-kun wrapped me with his protective arms, with his soothing whispers against my crown. But for what he had told me, I didn't really hear. Perhaps it didn't really matter. Because all I could do and feel like doing was visit the remaining shards in my heart that were the reflective mirrors of my past, let them bleed me once again...

"Fate-chan... Fate-...ugh! _Fate-chan!_ "

...and curse all of these wounds for what they all are.

…

 _ ** _ **Chapter II –**_**_ ** _In This_** ** _Painless_** ** _Dream_**

…

* * *

 _ **Epilogue**_

...There is always the prelude before new blossoms. It's a season so cold and completely empty. But eventually it will warm. Flowers will bloom. Colors will fill the sky.

I had seen seasons come and go. Right now, it's summer. It's supposed to feel hot.

Yet I'm watching still as a block of cold ice. The sunlight showers without warmth. Like an apparition. As if a dream. I wish for you to wake me up.

Wake me with your soulful gaze.

Your worried voice.

Your lonesome smile.

Your caring warmth.

Your tender passion.

" _To Nanoha,_

Your silent love...

" _[...] Embrace this love only for you;_

That reminds me of reality...

" _Please carry along with a smile as life goes on. [...]_

Through pain.

" _I love you."_

And regret.

 _Yours Truly, Now, and Forever_

 _Fate."_

Nanoha's breath exploded into a sob as she sunk on her knees on the floor littered with little notes full of intricate hand-written letters. Her trembling hands held the distinctive parchment larger than the rest, folded into fractions just to match the size of the empty box by the edge of the bed. Nanoha brought it on her chest, carefully as to leave the least crumples, dearly as she would hold the person close.

"Fate-chan..."

And her voice flooded the silence of her room, that's been so cold and void of emotions, with longing that keeps the wounds in her heart fresh like the memories she has of the love of her life that never get old.

* * *

 **HollowPointBullet**

So? How goes, fellow NanoFate masochistics? Here's the second chapter of the first part. I hope you felt bad. For Nanoha, for Yuuno, and for the rest of the gang because of this twisted play on their emotions.

With that said, we'll put a better exploration of Yuuno and Nanoha's relationship as we go. It's clearly unhealthy as of current. Next chapter, we'll start sorting out truths and introduce more characters in despair.

* * *

Thank you for reading! We'll meet again soon!


	3. I-Aftermath: Chapter 3

**Fragments &Fissures**

 **Part One** **: Aftermath** **— Chapter II** **I**

 _byHollowPointBullet_

 **(** _All that's left of my heart_ **are pieces and parts.)**

* * *

Song prompt: Words I couldn't Say

A/N: This is a late heads-up, but this timeline takes place alongside (and after) _**Force**_. So expect _Eclipse_ references from this chapter onwards. Fortunately, they'll only be references as somebody might have guessed from the years (There won't be any Touma, to my disappointment – enter sarcasm –)

 **Disclaimer: Not for commercial purposes.**

* * *

 _ **[**_ _ **Summer**_ _ **08**_ _ **3**_ _ **M-CNC]**_

"Vivio-san."

"Eh?"

Einhart saw her own reflection clarify in Vivio's unmatched and clouded eyes. Her grip on the younger girl's hand adjusted, securing it firmer, offering the utmost comfort she could give. The loose and clammy hand told her so much of what Vivio was feeling. Yet she failed to construe what it meant.

The sound waves coming from the stadium traveling across hallways and seeping through the door gradually registered to Vivio's ears. "Sounds like... our matches tomorrow's settled." She said quietly, craning her neck towards the corner of the room, where a wide screen was playing the live match at the moment. As the Strike Arts competition neared main events, they sat alone in the refreshment room, everyone's all-eyes on today's unnerving matches, one step away from championships.

"More importantly," Einhart cupped Vivio's cheek and aligned their sight, "what happened? That call just now. What was it about?"

Vivio blinked, as though she had just woken up from a sudden dream. "Ah..." She began to remember that emergency call that forced her out of the benches from cheering her friends. The specifics was a vague image in her mind, like candle wax of different colors thrown into a fireplace at once, and melting into an inconceivable color and shape. The only clear thing was the afterburn of that knowledge. It left her a dark coal in the middle of the fireplace. Pitch black to Vivio's core. Cold and empty. Then Einhart's worried face was right in front of her before she knew it. The hands that firmly promised never to let go leading her back from the shutdown of her mind. Suddenly, her eyes welled up. Her lips contorted, her brows furrowed, her cheeks taut. Everything felt so vexing. Nothing felt right. As though an itch nowhere to be found would cause that sudden irritation, this inexplicable feeling of loathe and helplessness caused the spike of bile in the pits of the stomach.

Quickly, like a flood, the tears overflow, tracing her cheeks with a magma from the explosion of her heart.

"Vivio-san." Einhart tried to thumb away the rivers on her face with futility.

"Einhart-san..." Vivio began in a voice so alien, distorted like the sounds in the deep ocean, of drowning abyss of despair. "I don't really get it. I don't really... I..." She stared into Einhart's eyes in search for explanations as she started over and over again.

"It's alright." Einhart coaxed. "Take your time."

"...the Bureau called..." Vivio hiccuped the words, "the bureau... called..." sounding like a broken music, "...says Fate-mama's team returned..." a record with cracks. "From mission, that is... That's not right... we planned on a vacation to Earth... No... no way..."

Einhart had puzzled it out by now. And she stopped short of breath and gasped. Poison began to discolor the brightness in Vivio's eyes. And there was nothing else Einhart could do but pull Vivio in her embrace and hold the blonde against her chest, whispering in hushed tones even if she knew it didn't reach Vivio's barricaded emotions.

That day, Einhart held her for the longest time.

"...I need to go... home... Mama... Nanoha-mama... Fate-mama told me what to do before... Fate-mama... Ugh... kk—uh! I need to... Nanoha-mama."

As Vivio broke down.

* * *

 _ **[Winter081M-CNC]**_

Einhart fought the blush as she stiffly stopped in front of a rack of postcards. Looking around for nearby customers, she noted that she has the liberty to scoot over the romantic greetings without anyone's notice. However, she remained on alert as she bent her body to make sure that Vivio was still being entertained by the bookstore owner by the gift counter. Smiling, she oozed with bright cheeriness as she gratefully thought of the thickening snow for their early dismissal from practice. Vivio asked her to accompany her in shopping for last-minute Christmas gift additions. Einhart allowed herself to feel the brimming excitement then, if it helped her that her emotions does not easily show. It's not everyday that they spend time together other than practice after all. And after all these years, rare times like this really screamed out of an improvement in her relationship with Vivio!

 _It was the best chance, indeed! That's why I'll grab this opportune moment to give her a card!_

While too absorbed in these thoughts, however, Vivio finalized her shopping and had already packed her gifts in her bag. Thanking the bookstore manager, she headed towards where she last saw her senior, her crush, and not so subtly, her date. When the silver-haired royal heir to Ingvalt's memories was nowhere in the books section, Vivio turned until she discovered Einhart skimming through Hallmark greeting cards and looking suspiciously paranoid over passing customers.

Vivio smiled helplessly then jogged up to the taller girl.

"Einhart-san! Sorry for keeping you."

Einhart was too surprised that she almost knocked down the whole shelf with her Strike Arts prowess. If it wasn't for Vivio's natural tendency to wrap her arms around Einhart every possible occasion. It always proved effective in keeping her stable for a short moment, thus giving her time to reassess the situation.

As soon as she was back to reality, Einhart cussed inwardly in shame.

"Huh? Are you looking for something to buy?" Vivio asked, peeking over her senior's shoulder. "I just finished so let me help!" Vivio cheerfully offered.

"Eh?! No I— Einhart felt like consoling her own spirits with a pat. Inwardly, she sighed and closed the card that was currently in hand. "Don't worry. I was just looking around."

Vivio blinked, then giggled. "Were you?"

Blushing, the older girl nodded. "Let's go then?"

Vivio let go of her Strike Arts partner and bounced to the side, her left-side ponytail dangling in her joyful motions. "If you don't mind, there's a nearby coffee shop from here. I'll treat you for keeping with me today."

Einhart flustered. "What? No, don't worry about it!"

Vivio grabbed her hand instead. "Almond-choco with extra cream? Roger!"

Einhart tilted her head but let Vivio drag her out of the store by the hand. "Vivio-san..."

As they sat by the table with their favorite coffee blends in front of them, Einhart asked, "you're not going home yet?"

Vivio hummed and put away the paper stirrer from her lips. "Hm... They're supposed to be decorating the house."

"And you're not helping?"

"Th-that's not it! I get the feeling that my mamas are preparing some sort of surprise so I'll let them prepare it."

Einhart chuckled lightly. "Your mothers are as energetic as yourself."

Vivio complemented her agreement with a laugh. "Although this doesn't usually happen with just Nanoha-mama and me."

"It doesn't?" Einhart curiously asked.

"Yeah. For some reason, we always end up just letting Earth holidays pass without doing anything."

"It's what holidays are supposed to be for. Rest." Einhart said with more than a tone of persuasion for a statement.

"Ah. Not that we slack off." Vivio found herself explaining again due to that. Einhart of all people wouldn't be caught lazing around even if it were the stone age. "We sometimes cook but we always end up joining the Yagamis' parties in the end. Only when Fate-mama's around that we really get into the spirit to celebrate these Earth traditions at home. Although Nanoha-mama is the one who's born there."

Einhart laughed softly. "It shows just how special Fate-san is in your household."

Vivio scratched a finger along her cheek. "So it does?"

"Does that come with her spoiling you?"

Vivio looked at her bag then hid her embarrassment while confessing, "she's just as spoiled as us, when it comes down to it. She's a worrywart. A big unsettled nerve. A lot more work for Nanoha-mama and I if you ask."

Einhart bit her lip at that description, feeling bad for the subject of Vivio's irritated tone. But nonetheless amused about the blush on her counterpart's cheeks. "She does carry the impression each time I visit your home."

"Doesn't she? I really wish she can learn some self-control from Nanoha-mama." Vivio sighed. "Well... I'm used to it by now. You see..."

Einhart waited for Vivio to gather her thoughts, sipping coffee pleasantly as she watched the blonde's gaze fell distantly on the warm aromatic vapor dissipating from her cup.

"You see, it's a big part of Fate-mama which I love. When she worries about everything, and troubles herself about every bit of detail, I could actually sense her overflowing care. I've come to think that it must be the gentlest form of strength that enables her to work in such intricacy. That's why I admire her the most."

"You want to be like her?"

"Maybe not exactly like her." Vivio waved dismissively. "I can be spared from losing ten seconds of life every second of worry. I just want to get her at ease every time she goes away on missions with worries regarding me and Nanoha-mama. I want to grow close enough to match her kind strength in order to assure her that I can take care of myself and protect Nanoha-mama while she's not around."

Einhart's eyes fell on the tiny roll of tissues produced by Vivio's unnoticed nervousness.

"I've noticed for a while now, but Fate-san really earns her public image of this strong knight, after all."

Vivio laughed. "Everyone thinks that's all she is, though. I'm not sure if they'll deem her more or less than a knight when they see how she acts at home."

"And Vivio-san? Which is it for you?"

Vivio slightly shifter under the expectant gaze Einhart sent her. "W-wouldn't that be obvious?"

Einhart slightly teased. "I'm sure Fate-san will be happy to hear it from you."

"No way I'm telling her. That will just fuel her clinginess. She already makes a whole deal out of everything I do for her as it is."

Einhart laughed. "I'm kind of envious though." Einhart said, earning a look of interest from Vivio. This went unnoticed as the older girl continued, "I think I want to be like that too."

Vivio burst out into tiny giggles. Einhart looked at her in confusion. Vivio shook her head and pressed a hand on her lips then muttered, "you're already Fate-mama-like as you are."

"Hm?"

"Nothing."

Einhart's brows furrowed. "Lie. I heard you say something."

Vivio stretched on her chair. "I said you don't have to worry about being like Fate-mama. I already admire you without the Fate-mama factors."

Einhart's face flushed quickly as she tried to feign she heard Vivio's words. "Wait, that's wasn't what I—!"

Vivio laughed and dismissed her with a wave. "Okay, okay!"

"...Nnh... Vivio-san..." Einhart shifted uncomfortably. "You're a long way from being that gentle and kind figure you're aiming for."

"Eh?! You're kidding..." Einhart averted her eyes. "...That's not true!"

"...well, I guess you are _Nanoha-san's_ daughter too."

* * *

Fate suddenly gasped and felt her hands sweat against the steel on her hands. "Na-no...ha... I feel like we're being rumored about, just now!" She announced dramatically, looking up.

The instructor on top of the steel ladder stopped from decorating the walls of the front porch and looked down. "Fate-chan! Hold it properly! You're shaking it!"

* * *

"I'm home!"

Vivio announced merrily as she pushed through the door, practically kicking off her snow boots to the corner of the hallway before pulling off her shoes in haste. She could hear two sets of chuckles from the living room, then a hushed voice quickly as she made entry into the house,

"Wait, Nanoha, Vivio's home!" Then some rustling, followed by a yelp which was distinctly of her Fate-mama's.

 _What are they doing?_ Vivio suspiciously asked herself. She delayed her movements for a second, feeling half-bad about intruding her mothers' fun time.

Then came a louder voice under a giggle, "Vivio, you're too early!"

"It's piling up outside so Nove decided on dismissing early." Vivio explained as she walked into the warmth and fragrance of Christmas in their home. Taking off her scarf and coat, she found her adoptive mother by the fireplace, carrying a red sack across her shoulder as Santa Claus, complete with a white beard and a full stomach courtesy of a sofa cushion.

Her other mother was nowhere to be found though.

Vivio tilted her head. "Huh? Was I imagining things?"

Nanoha faced Vivio only to answer the question with a Ho! Ho! Ho! "If 'twasn't the young Takamachi!"

"I see..." Vivio trailed her sight across the living room, practically ignoring Nanoha. With the primping that her mothers laid out everywhere, it's hard to specify anything out of place. However, it was obvious that no one in the right mind would display a human-sized Christmas box beside the Tree.

Vivio's eyes returned to a chagrined Nanoha. "Err..."

"Nanoha! Keep going!"

Vivio helplessly stared at the whispering box next to her mother.

Nanoha had no choice but act out as planned. Stretching her arm towards the talking gift, she announced in a failing attempt at a husky voice, "you were a good kid this year, so Santa-san gave you this as an early present!"

"Pfft!" Laughed the box.

Nanoha lightly knocked the box with her fist.

"Santa-san? You're not Santa, then?" Vivio asked.

Nanoha knocked herself inwardly next. "Uhm..."

"Improvise!" Ordered the giant box.

"I-I'm Santa-san's loyal employee! Here to deliver early presents! And thus, behold!"

At cue, and expectedly, Fate enthusiastically emerged from the box with a "Jaaa~n! It's Fate-mama~! Meri Kuriii!"

Then came the silence of the heavens.

Vivio touched her temple and sighed in mortification, "I-I want to take it all back, Einhart-san... Please don't turn into _this_ in the future..."

Fate blinked. "Eh?"

…

"Your godmom's idea." Nanoha quickly finger-pointed once they're seated over dinner.

"You were into it yourself!" Fate returned. "And I was set on doing it on my own but you said you can be Santa."

Nanoha put a finger on her forehead to feign innocence. "Wait, did I?"

"Nanoha! You're leaving me in the air?!"

Vivio watched the usual banter with a helpless smile. Usual... should it be described by a margin of every other month. Regardless, she did miss this so much for her heart's own good. This warmth... It had been so long since the three of them celebrated Earth holidays together. Especially with the Eclipse Case. This had been taking quite a number on her parents lately. Schedule itself had rendered them too busy for joviality, let alone for a simple meal together. It's good that things were settled down for now, even if just temporarily. Vivio's even more grateful that Fate still chose to spend this evening with them despite knowing how hectic her role in these cases always were. Well, her mothers can pull quite the stunts with their jobs. For that matter, she couldn't help but equally feel bad and so blessed to be their daughter.

 _I'm so spoiled..._

"You two can really overdo practically anything so I'm used to it by now." Vivio said, finally breaking up the repartee as she ate her pasta.

"Nyahaha... sorry." Nanoha said apologetically, complemented by Fate's defeated pout.

Vivio inwardly let out yet another sigh upon the sight. "But if being a good girl earns me a Fate-mama each year, it's not so bad."

Fate's eyes widened upon the comment and blushed. If it was possible, her golden hair could have turned into a bright halo. Vivio was sure there were even ears in her eyes for a moment before Fate quickly hid it with that very feminine grin she always used to hide her expressions. "We'll see. If you remain a good girl, that is..." Fate answered, demurely sipping from her coffee mug.

 _I guess I have someone to blame for spoiling them in turn._

Vivio shared a look of relief with her mother, a known message shared. And as their precious night was just beginning...

An call popped up in the middle of their warm-hearted meal.

Nanoha and Vivio stared at Fate as the blonde tried to smile it off.

"It's from Arf so this ought to be just a quick report."

As Fate stood up from the chair, Vivio already knew that this night has come to an abrupt end.

…

Vivio rested her cheek on Nanoha's chest as they watched a movie from the living room sofa. However, her attention was not even remotely following the conversation of the characters, as she was too busy noting the time as it ticked by. Each minute, she intently listened outside, to the driveway packed in white snow, in the garage muffled by the night, behind the front door dimmed by the clouds.

Fiddling a ribbon on the sleeve of Nanoha's clothes, she asked silently, "Is it that bad?"

Nanoha blinked and wondered if Vivio was talking about the film. She hadn't been paying attention to the plot and she wasn't sure how to respond. When she did not reply however, Vivio added, "I thought you're free until the day after tomorrow."

Nanoha slightly clenched her teeth in guilt. Kissing Vivio's head, she answered, "sorry. Fate-chan's break was slightly more flexible than mine. The investigating party needs her when they do."

"...I know."

Nanoha caressed Vivio's back. "We can go on a trip after all these. Of course, if Fate-chan's schedule allows..." Nanoha paused, hesitating, "I'm sorry I can only give you vague promises."

A minute passed and Vivio's answer hung. When she spoke her next words, Nanoha's thoughts froze along with the wind that beat against their glaciated window,

"She can use Family breaks like you do. I mean Chrono-chan does too for his family, right? I figured Fate-mama can have it too."

"Where did you get that idea?"

"...Karell and Lierra."

Nanoha painfully exhaled. "Vivio, Fate-mama's not..."

Vivio stiffened when Nanoha let the silence fill the obvious words in. The blonde rose from her mother's embrace slowly. The expression on her face was a conflict of realization, embarrassment and guilt, as if a wounded animal trying not to hurt her tender injured paw.

"Sorry. I was thoughtless."

Nanoha smiled in understanding and sat up as well. "I think I'm partly at fault for letting her spoil you so much." Nanoha offered a sad smile as she tucked Vivio's bangs behind her ear. Tipping her daughter's chin up, Nanoha continued, "But you won't be the Vivio I can boast around without that spoil factor, you see? And Fate-chan gave all these for free. Even without any privilege. Fate-mama loves you that much. So all we can do in turn, is wait for her whenever."

Vivio nodded and hugged Nanoha, staring at the floor as if staring hard enough would take away the irritation swelling in her chest. It's not the first time that this subject slipped her mind. And it's not the first time that she felt so genuinely frustrated over something so trivial. A fact so basic to miss. A stupid mistake to make. And it always comes down like a hammer to her soul.

Sure, she can call Fate "mama" forever. And obviously, Fate will eternally treasure her as a daughter like her own. But when it comes down to it, it doesn't change the fact that the codes and duties of a hero cannot allow them enough time to return that precious love as freely as they want to.

The human laws err perfectly. It speaks loud without justice. So what fight could a little voice such as Vivio's put up?

 _Would an "I want you to be with us," be enough?_

 _I would never know the answer any more, would I?_

* * *

 _ **[**_ _ **Summer**_ _ **08**_ _ **6**_ _ **M-CNC]**_

Vivio checked her terminal another time. Finding no messages left, she sighed, and rolled out of the bed, Cris following suit in a beeline. She trudged lazily towards the kitchen's refrigerator. The cool air from inside kissed her rosy cheeks, and her eyes landed on the container of flavored meat and vegetable salad she prepared the night before. She pursed her lips in slight frustration, took them out and set them by the counter.

"Now I prepared too much for one person." She disappointedly sighed again, and braced her hands on the counter and took in a deep breath. Cris knew what to come and its limbs instantly covered its ears.

"MAMA, YOU IDIOT!"

Vivio yelled on top of her voice, emptying her lungs from the pent up frustrations she'd been having since the conversation with her mother this morning. A run to the gym did not quite help her. But that scream effectively did. Feeling relieved afterwards, she wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand and smiled with pride. "There! Vivio's at the rebellious age! I bet you never got the chance since you're too busy being heroes!"

Not long after, Cris hovered in front of her, waving its left arm. "A message?" Vivio perked up quickly. "Whose?" She asked as she opened a terminal log and found out herself. "Oh, it's from Einhart-san... And another from Coach. Also from the others." Smiling helplessly, Vivio looked at Cris. "I guess I'm making the people around me worry again."

The stuffed bunny waved his arms and flew in a circle.

"A repeat of last year?" Vivio read the gestures. "Don't worry!" She held up a fist. "This time, I made sure to wiretap Raising Heart in case Mama goes wild again."

Cris nodded.

Vivio crossed her arms in a proud gesture. "We're older now. Stronger. And besides, Yuuno-kun is with her right now."

Cris nodded again, this time uncertainly.

Vivio held Cris in both hands and ran lazy circles on her stuffed device's stomach. "I know how you feel. I also... feel like I shouldn't be allowing this to happen to him. But I'm not in the level where I can bring mama home and make all the bad go away just like that. I've always tried and failed." Vivio raised her sight past the threshold, into the living room, and on that corner where a dim light originated.

"No one can, actually do that. No one but... No one can replace you, mama. Not even me..."

Dim a light as hope. Dim a light as her voice.

Then suddenly, Cris flew to her line of sight before pouncing at her, landing on her face, fluffy limbs covering her eyes.

"Wa — Cris!" Vivio complained, then she suddenly began to realize what Cris was actually doing. She chuckled and sniffled as she gently peeled Cris off of her. "I'm sorry." She said softly, and began drying her own tears. "Thank you, Cris... Alright! Let's cook everything and force Nanoha-mama to finish them the moment she comes home!" She announced as she pulled the apron hanging on the wall.

…

Vivio hummed as she and Cris spread a sheet of picnic cloth on the grass and settled the basket she was carrying down. Unpacking a layered bento from it, she smiled with pride. "Can you smell Chef Vivio's very own version of your 'original taste'? You'll be blown out of your bedrock!" She chuckled. But even to herself, the joke felt like a kick to her stomach.

In that stretch of silence, Cris' bunny ears slightly bent down.

Clearing her throat, Vivio neatly laid the layers in front of the white cobblestone decorated with an overwhelming number of bouquets. Among the dozens aligned on the either side of the stone, she noted a single flower on a low glass flask sitting demurely on one corner of the stone. "I guess I'm not the first one here." She noted as she unwrapped a simple self-arrangement of moon flowers and white lilies and put it right above the engraved name.

"Well, I know you had a nice long bonding with Erio and Caro." Vivio smiled as she picked up fallen leaves obscuring the name. "I hope you don't mind entertaining me and Cris next." Cris flew to Vivio's lap and whipped its fluffy hands up. "Says _yoroshiku_ , too." Vivio translated as Cris nodded. "To tell the truth, we planned on gathering together here as well, EriCaro and I. But work's been rough on them these days. And I had to run to the gym today to make sure Nove won't be too worried. But I get the feeling that even without these excuses we'd still unconsciously try to give room for each other." Vivio softly chuckled. "It makes me embarrassed to say this, but even though we've quite grown, we still prefer some time to be with you exclusively... I think. Or maybe it's just me. Ahaha..."

As a pleasant wind delivered one second towards the next, Vivio traced Fate's name with the tip of her fingers. "I always look back at the similar times in the past. It would have given us more time to be with you if the three of us just stuck together all the time. But when I put more serious thought about it, I'd hate it if you divided your attention amongst us when we're with you at the same time. I couldn't really talk to you like this in front of them either." Vivio picked on a random twig and began fiddling it. "Sorry. I'm rambling again. I guess I'm not your daughter too for no reason."

"I failed to bring Nanoha-mama again today. I thought of forcing her to come. But... she began to look like that this morning... I got scared. I'm still scared. When I imagine her crying like that again, I don't know what to do." Vivio pursed her lips. "I want to be strong enough to be able to embrace her whenever she's reminded of you. But after last year... Uhm, about that, you don't have to worry this time around. Yuuno-kun promised that he'll keep an eye on her, and keep her out of alcohol's reach... Yuuno-kun said that Mama's been an empty shell since she worked her way out of alcohol. Not just her, though..." Vivio paused and when she resumed, the volume in her voice dropped below the whisper of the wind. "The times when I wish you were here never diminished one bit." Vivio's fingers stopped when the twig in her hands cannot be broken into lengths any smaller than they already are.

"Fate-mama..." Vivio whispered in the air. "I..." Vivio stopped herself and blinked, her eyes were on the tiny twigs on her palms, but not particularly focused on any of the pieces.

Cris looked up, aware of the internal debate in Vivio's heart.

"Sorry." Vivio amended in an uncontrolled sob. "I was just thinking it'd be nice if I had one more chance to talk to you this much... Then I'd... never stop talking... I'm sorry, mama. I just miss you so much-ghk!"

...

Vivio was asleep under the filtering late afternoon sun. While she did plan to lay there all afternoon, just talking about random subjects that come to mind, and then spending the remaining free time she had by reading a book she brought, her plans were utterly ruined by the tears and the sudden exhaustion afterwards. Cris indeed tried to wake her fifteen minutes in when she began murmuring Fate's name and stray words that didn't make much sense. But Vivio was wearing a pleasant smile. So the device relented and decided to snuggle within the blonde's arms.

...

When they arrived, Vivio was face contorting, then relaxing with a soft giggle that melted coherence of her sleep-talk.

"Shouldn't we wake her up?"

A soft hand tucked Vivio's bangs out of her face, earning a slight twitch from the young lady when her locks brushed across her long eyelashes.

"You do that. I'm going on ahead."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Cris woke up to these gentle voices and floated in the air.

"Oh. She's awake."

As soon as it recognized the visitors surrounding them, the device started flying to each of them as if to politely give a greeting in a half-sleep mode.

"Ahaha... This creature's always so cute." Cris landed on the lap of the brunette speaker seated beside Vivio.

"And politely chummy."

"I wonder if it rubbed off on her since Vivio studies in a Church-run school."

"Now that you mention it, that might be the case. By the way, was Cris ever a girl?" The question came from across them in the hushed tone of Shamal.

"Eh?" A confused blink from the younger silver-haired visitor followed. "I always thought she's a girl? Right, Hayate-chan?"

The brunette shrugged at Rein's question. "I don't know. I never thought it's relevant." Putting Cris down, she stood up and told her two muses, "Well, then, I'll leave the rest to you. Signum and Vita should be here soon as well."

Rein could not hide the worried look on her face.

This was amplified by Shamal's question, "I keep telling this, but I'm sure Nanoha-chan would feel much better if you two talked."

Hayate hummed. "For closure, huh? I know she needs that. But if she wanted it is another question. She could have forced it out of me if she was certain to move on That aside, though, I don't have it yet to be offering it to someone else." She looked at them with a smile. It was faint, but nonetheless there, like a strike of a match in the sudden blackout amidst a storm. Now if only there was a candle to bring light to what that smile meant.

"Watch over them for a while."

* * *

…

 _ **Chapter**_ ** **II**** ** **I –**** ** _ **The Cold of Summer**_**

…

* * *

 _ **Epilogue**_

Vivio jumped at the sound of their front door banging shut, sleep draining from her eyes in a kick. She quickly scrambled to her feet with Cris flying out of the bed just as readily. The night was rendered bright by the clear skies and one and a half moon. Crickets lulled the slumber of time. And the breeze carried upstairs the sound of a broken heart.

Vivio instantly froze on her feet, recognizing the cries of her mother, the heavy thuds up on the stairs, into the room by the opposite hall, and the despair sheathing the sound of an ever-beloved name echoed beneath the blanket of this Summer night.

It had seemed like forever as Vivio watched her own tears burn blotches of dark on the carpeted floor. Her hands gripped her pajamas tightly. Her teeth clenched as tightly as her throat. The mewls now subdued into soft gasps and sobs, Vivio took in much-needed air until her feet regained its senses. And they carried her out of her room, down the stairs, towards the altar built after their missing guest. Taking that familiar portrait, she fell on her knees and begged for the demons, for the gods, for her Fate-mama...

" _Vivio..."_

"Fate-mama..."

 _"Take care of Nanoha-mama and yourself, okay?"_

 _"It's a promise."_

And carried all the weight of her vain hope up the stairs, to offer a little more fire to that dying star of this bright Summer night.

* * *

 **HollowPointBullet**

Yay! Fate-chan! Her debut appearance is so... Fate-chan! lol Tells us too little, I know. Sorry.

I wanted more NanoFate too but EinViv kind of overtook before I realized it. But there'll be more NanoFate in the future, that's for sure!

Hayate! This is a freshly written chapter so I was really surprised by what I conjured up, especially with that kind of appearance. It's like a test on waters. Teasing, teasing~

That aside, this chapter is where I left my original plans. Originally, I wanted to just dive headfirst into the risky relationship that built up between Nanoha and Yuuno, give some justice as to how they arrived to that point, but I craved to make some push plotwise. After that much Nanoha angst in chapter II, I felt the need to lift the spirits a little bit, shift my attention on the general POV to get a more rational grasp of things. Though I said that, it still kind of focused on Vivio's regrets.  
I thought that the first flashback shouldn't be too revealing right after chapter II atmosphere, but still not be too jarring as to askew from the depressing aftermath. (T^T Promises everywhere...) Thus, the not-quite daughter's own fight, leading us to an important end with Hayate arriving and leaving(?). Still unsure where to go with that.

I'm still experimenting on how to effectively phase long stories so bear with the oozing lameness, loopholes and other stupid whatnots you'll find. I would appreciate any questions in reviews so they may be answered on later episodes. Or PM me if you want to just drop bomb. Please refrain from spoiling in reviews as well. I'll delete them without restrain.

* * *

Thank you for reading! We'll meet again soon!


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